Fear.

The words “fear”, “doubt”, and “uncertainty” have been popping up quite frequently in my vocabulary lately…and I loathe them. These words cause such unsettlement in one’s head, heart, and body. In light of the recent horrific attacks going on in our world, it is really easy to fall into the terror and fear of the unknown future…

As a late 20-something, I find myself straddling the line of the YOLO mentality (quick! before it’s too late!) and the fear of consequences from my actions (will I lose an entire day of productivity because of one uncharacteristically fun, wild, late night?). My heart and my gut are telling me to Go! Do! Live! But my mind is overthinking and getting in my way.

Your mind is POWERFUL. It can raise you up and just as easily tear you right down. Personally, I have been constantly questioning: my thoughts, my ideas, my lessons, my workouts, my food choices, my outfits, my decisions…was that right? was that a good idea? was that tough enough? does this look okay? am I reaching out to others enough? should I have that? should I think that? should I do this?

What bothers me about the mind, these fearful questions, this overthinking is the “who”. Who am I trying to please? Who am I trying to impress? Who am I trying to “wow”?

Recently, my dear friend Maria eloquently scribed these uncertain feelings, this overthinking, into a thought-provoking question of truths (“Says Who” Blog) “Who says” what is good, what is right, what is enough? The answer should be YOU.

YOU should strive for personal excellence. YOU should strive to make yourself better than yesterday. YOU should make morally conscious decisions that better you and the community around you. YOU should close your eyes at night pleased with the choices that you made.

Sometimes, okay, a lot of times, that personal power is still scary.

The Disney/Pixar movie “Inside Out” (FANTASTIC, by the way! Have your tissues nearby!) shows the cooperation between 5 major emotions in our brain: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear. The writers show us that Fear is always present. If it weren’t for our other emotions to keep us in the positive, we would be stuck asking, “What if I don’t make it across the finish line?” We must respond with:

legally-approved-fear
Image by BK

I hope that you are all in tune with your minds and your bodies. I hope that when you find yourself second guessing/comparing/stuck by Fear, you find the will to ask yourself “says who?” and to let your other emotions take the reigns. Trust your gut. Trust your heart. Quiet your mind.

For me, I have to let my emotions be handled by God. After perfect motherly advice, I finally went back to church. The reading, the homily, the songs felt tailored to me and my cerebral struggles. The homily was powerful: “fear should be the catalyst for change, not despair…. When you are in the protective hand of God, fear can bring you hope.”

I urge you to trust. Find solace in meditation. Find comfort in prayer. Trust God, The Universe, the wind, that twisty-looking tree, whathaveyou. Trust your decisions. Trust your choices. Trust in your journey.

“’What if I fall?’ ‘Oh, but my darling,what if you fly?’” –Erin Hanson

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